> BLACK - darkness; connection to horror & morbidity
> RED - the flesh/blood; euphoria from confusing, unsettling or scaring people in regards to identity/presentation
> GREY - morality; disconnect and/or disdain related to a strictly binary/human identity
> TEAL - the soul; self security and/or safety with allies
while i do have a strong personal connection with the horror media genre, i also wanted to include elements that i feel connect with my interpretations of the label. my goal with the stripe meanings was to attach further meaning beyond love of the genre itself, extending it to even *being* the horror. references to both physical form and the concept of a soul are present as suggested meanings, i include them as a reminder that dark interests don't make us inherently evil or frightening for the ones we hold close; users are free to discard these if their gender is better affirmed otherwise.
tried to keep the meanings a bit more generic as to keep it flexible per genre, but i made pentagram & knife versions as nods to supernatural & slasher/splatter films as those are the ones i personally connect with most. blank version included to keep things generic, but of course anyone is welcome to add different symbols or make other edits to suit their tastes.
further interpretations/symbolism that could be drawn include the grey+red stripes representing a more abstract visual of a bloody knife, black representing unknown/psychological/abstract horror, teal representing the (un)dead, or the grey representing fully nonhuman or extraterrestrial horror.
the original flag i referenced was originally created/posted by @childebf from twitter.
naturally i'm a big fan of this identity, as a big horror fan and someone who uses the binary out of convenience for others. i haven't been in xenogender spaces since the first big tumblr boom a handful of years ago, but i always found the corner fascinating, even if the intercommunity drama put me off & general flag designs being put out didn't interest me. the horizontal stripes are generally fine- their constant usage means that even if you don't recognize what the flag is, you know it's got some LGBT-related meaning- but a while of seeing the same old autogenerated palettes or blocky gradients got a bit boring.. i don't mean to sound high-and-mighty when i say this, but learning color symbolism and fixating on country flags really gives you a different view on the design process. ^^; no hate at all to people who are happy with designs they've made, of course.
anyway! diving back in as of late while working on my pride emoji series (which you should definitely check out) has gotten me thinking about how i navigate my identity again. i still id as transmasc, of course, but for a while i was nervous about hopping back in the saddle in terms of neopronouns and xenogenders. i'm absolutely a person who hardly takes gender too seriously. i prioritize personal comfort, happiness and fun for everything i do, so naturally that means my wardrobe is full of horrible t-shirts, hot topic jeans from high school i haven't grown out of, mountains of impulse purchases because 'what if i find something else to style this with,' and i even briefly got back into skirt shopping even though they previously gave me horrible dysphoria. i think a lot of it was crushed when i started testosterone. even though i've been off of it for a few months now, even with changes starting to revert it's given me more confidence to get sillier with it. i only really stopped hoarding labels and pronouns because i didn't initially see a point. i never intended people who weren't in those spaces to see those, and i certainly didn't expect my unaccepting family or my workplaces to honor neopronouns. why bother?
and then i remembered that none of that shit matters and i'm having fun.
i'm glad i rediscovered this side of the LGBT community. identity-hoarding is very nice for explaining my identity in ways that other queer neurodivergent people will understand, and it's helpful for identifying aspects of my dissociative disorder and recognizing them in a way that feels not just respectful, but affirming for their existence. the pronouns are fun too, but that's mostly because i don't respect the societally established binary (or trinary, let's be honest) enough to stick to what's acceptable. yeah, i use he/him, but that's along with strictly plural they/them- i'm not a fan of using the singular for myself, and aside from society's understanding of english grammar crumbling at an alarming rate, the plural is affirming not just for dissociation, but even for horrorgender related reasons. people already think i'm a freak for numerous reasons, why not lean into it?
. . .
i think that's all the rambling i got in me. another reminder that my gofundme is still open. i'm still struggling to find a job & need to pay my rent in the meantime. my other posts on my social media i still have aren't picking up any momentum and it takes a while of spam-posting for them to be seen, so i'd really appreciate any extra attention given to this. don't feel pressured to donate if you are unable to.
